Walking by Faith: CRAZY in the midst of CRAZY!

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This past week we took a mini vacation to Texas to see Evan's family. Both girls had double ear infections and snotty noses when we left, but got much better during the trip. We had a great time visiting family and friends and doing some fun stuff with the kids. The car ride THERE went surprisingly well, which is always a relief...fast forward to the car ride home, and it was a different story.

We packed the van and were on the road by 9 am. About 2 hours into the trip, we stopped at Cracker Barrel and had some yummy food. Knox enjoyed the chocolate milk and mashed potatoes, Savannah downed an entire grilled cheese (that girl can eat!), and Dixie as usual said she didn't like ANYTHING. Either way, it was a nice meal and allowed for a good stretch before loading back up in the car. At this point, I am thinking yes, this trip is going to be ok.

About 30 minutes later, Knox starts throwing up all over himself and the car seat. I cannot reach him as I am in the front seat, but I am trying to comfort him as best I can until we can get to a gas station and clean up. So there we were in the freezing cold, cleaning up buckets (or so it seemed) of vomit out of the crevices of the car seat and all over Knox. The gas station had a mini can of lysol. Between a pack of baby wipes, about a million paper towels and minimal lysol (didn't want to get my kids high), we got things cleaned up as best we could.

We dug fresh clothes out of the suitcase and covered the seat with a blanket before changing Knox and putting him back in. I cannot even begin to tell you how bad the van smelled...I was on the verge of being sick myself. I decided to sit in the back next to Knox for the rest of the trip with plastic bag in hand ready to catch the next go round. Let me add here that my boy was a trooper. And praise God, he did not throw up again after that, but oh that smell! We still had like 9 hours to go.

The rest of the car ride included Dixie asking me the same questions about a million times, my answer never satisfying her, stopping for bathroom breaks, diaper changes, snacks and stretches. As dinner time approached, we thought a sit down dinner as opposed to fast food would be nice. We decided to stop at Chilis. Savannah, who is now 1, has decided she does not like to sit AT ALL. She stands in her high chair, grabs anything in sight and throws it off the table (she is a tornado). Dixie once again decides she doesn't like anything we order them to eat and Knox just giggles and talks REALLY loud. We managed to eat a basket of chips before I said "I'm done." Savannah was crawling on the table, knocking over salt and pepper shakers. I felt like I was wrestling an alligator and dinner hadn't even gotten there yet.

As soon as our food hit the table, we asked for the check and to go boxes. I was frustrated that we couldn't even enjoy a meal together (as if that should surprise me). We walk out to the van and I realize that I forgot to change diapers while we were in the restaurant. So, we lay pillows across a seat and try to change diapers as quick as possible before children try to escape. I look over at Evan and say "Are we crazy? We really want another kid?" We laugh, because we know we probably ARE crazy and yes, we do want another kid, but it is kind of comical.

We get back into the vomit van and put movies on for the kids (we have rigged up Evan's computer and given Knox the Kindle..although he hates the headphones). As I sit in the seat with WeeSing Christmas and Sid the Science kid blaring in my ear at the same time, eating my Chilis salad out of my to go box, trying to ignore the wretched smell, and internalizing my frustration, God spoke to me. In the midst of my bad attitude and the chaos, he stopped me and gave me just what I needed.

He laid these words on my heart, which are from a song called "Higher" by All Sons and Daughters. If you have not heard of them, you need to check them out. You can check out the song by clicking the video below. Let the words really resonate with you.

"You have called me Higher, you have called me deeper and I'll go where you will lead me Lord."

He used that song to speak to me when I was in Haiti and when I got home afterwards, prompting me to really challenge myself and if I am willing to go higher and deeper with him or if I am too comfortable and complacent in my walk with him. Our decision to adopt came shortly after, so you can see how that worked out.

In that moment, I stopped and thanked God for all of the blessings around me. I realized that even in the everyday parenting stuff, the sick kids, the ruined dinners, the obnoxious videos, the whining children, the 11 hour car trip, the endless diapers, God calls me to go Higher and Deeper with Him. He doesn't just want that from me in the "BIG" moments of my life, but in every moment. Right now, God has me in the mom stage. The hectic, fun, crazy, frustrating, blessed stage of being a momma to 3 precious kids (and hopefully 4 one day).

I also thanked him for this calling he has placed on our hearts, adopting a son. Like I said, I question our sanity sometimes. I never doubt that this adoption is something we long to do and God has called us to, but I wonder just how crazy it is. When I am lost in the middle of the whirlwind that comes from 3 young kids, I really question my ability, but then I realize that my ability is not what matters, it is HIS and he is more than able. I just have to give it over to him. Trust Him in the small stuff and in the big stuff.

I look back at scripture and see how many CRAZY things God has called people to do. Things that seemed impossible and things that people didn't understand, but God was always faithful to those He called. Just think about a couple of these crazy situations and how God provided:

Noah building the ark (People thought he was NUTS. It had never even rained before that), Moses convincing Pharaoh to let God's people go & parting the Red Sea, God telling Abraham to pick up and move his entire family and God will lead the way & testing Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son. (just to name a few)

Whoa, I am glad God hasn't called me to be too CRAZY! But I love that he is a BIG God who can handle CRAZY! I love that he wants to challenge us whatever stage of life we are in: with our attitudes, with our thoughts, with our actions, with the small stuff, with the BIG decisions. Here are some things to think about:

Will we go where He leads? Will we choose to TRUST him or to stay comfortable in the life we have created for ourselves? Are we even stopping enough in our busy lives to listen to what he might be calling us to?

Think about how God may be challenging you, speaking to you. He can do some AWESOME things in our lives and in the lives of others if we are willing to get beyond what we have planned for ourselves and open ourselves up to his plans, if we change our attitudes and outlook, if we allow him to do something CRAZY in us!

Here are some pictures from our little escapade:

Packed in