Matilda Jane Trunk Show

My sweet friend Laura has been walking this adoption journey alongside me since almost the very beginning. She and her husband are in the process of adopting a precious little girl from China. In fact they leave next month to bring their sweet Emily Hope home. I am over the moon excited for them! They recently met their fundraising goal and Laura wanted to do something to help us raise a little more money towards ours. I know, so amazingly thoughtful, especially since they are busy getting ready for Emily. I love this girl's heart.

A couple weeks ago she sent me a message saying that she was having a Matilda Jane Trunk show at her house and that Nikki Voelkel, the wonderful Trunk Keeper, was willing to donate 25% of the proceeds from the sale towards our adoption fund. I loved this for so many reasons:

1) Matilda Jane is my favorite little girl's line of clothes...so cute!

2) Laura did all of the planning for this, she did it at her house & invited her friends. I only passed on the invite to some friends I thought might be interested. LOVE that there was no pressure on me to fundraise for now. I didn't even have to show up to the party if I didn't want to (but of course I did).

3) Nikki was willing to be generous enough to donate some of the proceeds to us, even though I had never met her. Now she is part of our son's story and I made a new friend:)

4) Despite Laura having so much on her plate already with her own adoption, she made it a point to go out of her way for our family. Not only does she love her orphan, she loves ours too.

The Trunk show was a 3 hour open house and I am so excited to say that $250 was raised towards our adoption! Thank you to everyone who came out and purchased some adorable clothing and to those who purchased online because you couldn't be there. Thank you Laura for coming up with this idea and being willing to host and put it together on your own. Thank you Nikki for being so generous with your business. You ladies are WONDERFUL! Our fundraising meter is now up to: $17,068 YAY!!!!

Here are a few pictures from the day:

                                                       "Which dress do you like better?"

Laura and I. So thankful for this friendship!

Getting some shopping done while the kids play.

The cutest rack of clothes. That's Matilda Jane.

If you are interested in checking out Matilda Jane, you can visit the website HERE. Put in Nikki's Trunk Keeper ID to order (#368). Or e-mail Nikki at nikkiv@matildajaneclothing.com if you would like to host a Trunk Show or have any questions.

Heart Shaped Sprinkle Pancakes

As I laid out 3 little hearts with my kid's names on them and a small treat for them to open Valentines morning, and as I plated up heart shaped pancakes with sprinkles, I felt an ache. I wondered how many more Valentines will pass before our 4th child will be at the table, smiling and laughing with his siblings as syrup makes a sticky mess across his face. When will I get to write his name on a little foam heart? I am cherishing the moments that I have with my kids now, watching them grow right before my eyes, each moment precious and passing. I know that God has us as a family of 5 for this season for a reason. I especially remember that when my littlest is screaming for me to hold her ALL DAY and the big two are fighting. But there is an evident ache, a void, a piece of my heart that is waiting for our 4th child.

Dixie asks me "When are we going to Ethiopia to get brother?", Knox points it out on the globe. They pray over brother at night. I look around sometimes and I count my kids because someone is clearly missing,  1...2...3... They are all here. I am not going crazy...maybe I am! Then I realize, it is him, my heart already considers him one of my kids. 

While this adoption is not about me or Evan or how long we have to WAIT for a child, some days it is hard. Hard to think where he is, what he is going through, how much I want to show him unconditional love and security. It's hard because as a mom, you naturally just want to give those things to your child and right now, I just can't.

Despite the wait, I am glad that God continues to put this compassion, desire and love in my heart for our boy now. That with time, the ache grows deeper and deeper as I become closer to becoming his mother and him my son. All I have to offer at this point are my prayers to God on behalf of our child and on behalf of my aching heart. I can offer my willingness to lay aside my expectations on what this adoption should look like and just trust God's timing. He has a plan, he has a purpose. He sees our boy and he knows. He knows right where he is, exactly what he is facing and he loves him more than I ever could. He continues to grow this mama's heart, to make me realize that even though I ache, he can fill my ache, even though I cry, he can dry my tears, even when I love, he can make me love deeper. Now that is something worth celebrating...perhaps with some heart shaped sprinkle pancakes:)


Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens."

Isaiah 55:9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts. neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."