CRAZY in the midst of CRAZY!

(Just a reminder to view our blog in web version from your mobile device)

This past week we took a mini vacation to Texas to see Evan's family. Both girls had double ear infections and snotty noses when we left, but got much better during the trip. We had a great time visiting family and friends and doing some fun stuff with the kids. The car ride THERE went surprisingly well, which is always a relief...fast forward to the car ride home, and it was a different story.

We packed the van and were on the road by 9 am. About 2 hours into the trip, we stopped at Cracker Barrel and had some yummy food. Knox enjoyed the chocolate milk and mashed potatoes, Savannah downed an entire grilled cheese (that girl can eat!), and Dixie as usual said she didn't like ANYTHING. Either way, it was a nice meal and allowed for a good stretch before loading back up in the car. At this point, I am thinking yes, this trip is going to be ok.

About 30 minutes later, Knox starts throwing up all over himself and the car seat. I cannot reach him as I am in the front seat, but I am trying to comfort him as best I can until we can get to a gas station and clean up. So there we were in the freezing cold, cleaning up buckets (or so it seemed) of vomit out of the crevices of the car seat and all over Knox. The gas station had a mini can of lysol. Between a pack of baby wipes, about a million paper towels and minimal lysol (didn't want to get my kids high), we got things cleaned up as best we could.

We dug fresh clothes out of the suitcase and covered the seat with a blanket before changing Knox and putting him back in. I cannot even begin to tell you how bad the van smelled...I was on the verge of being sick myself. I decided to sit in the back next to Knox for the rest of the trip with plastic bag in hand ready to catch the next go round. Let me add here that my boy was a trooper. And praise God, he did not throw up again after that, but oh that smell! We still had like 9 hours to go.

The rest of the car ride included Dixie asking me the same questions about a million times, my answer never satisfying her, stopping for bathroom breaks, diaper changes, snacks and stretches. As dinner time approached, we thought a sit down dinner as opposed to fast food would be nice. We decided to stop at Chilis. Savannah, who is now 1, has decided she does not like to sit AT ALL. She stands in her high chair, grabs anything in sight and throws it off the table (she is a tornado). Dixie once again decides she doesn't like anything we order them to eat and Knox just giggles and talks REALLY loud. We managed to eat a basket of chips before I said "I'm done." Savannah was crawling on the table, knocking over salt and pepper shakers. I felt like I was wrestling an alligator and dinner hadn't even gotten there yet.

As soon as our food hit the table, we asked for the check and to go boxes. I was frustrated that we couldn't even enjoy a meal together (as if that should surprise me). We walk out to the van and I realize that I forgot to change diapers while we were in the restaurant. So, we lay pillows across a seat and try to change diapers as quick as possible before children try to escape. I look over at Evan and say "Are we crazy? We really want another kid?" We laugh, because we know we probably ARE crazy and yes, we do want another kid, but it is kind of comical.

 We get back into the vomit van and put movies on for the kids (we have rigged up Evan's computer and given Knox the Kindle..although he hates the headphones). As I sit in the seat with WeeSing Christmas and Sid the Science kid blaring in my ear at the same time, eating my Chilis salad out of my to go box, trying to ignore the wretched smell, and internalizing my frustration, God spoke to me. In the midst of my bad attitude and the chaos, he stopped me and gave me just what I needed.

He laid these words on my heart, which are from a song called "Higher" by All Sons and Daughters. If you have not heard of them, you need to check them out. You can check out the song by clicking the video below. Let the words really resonate with you.

"You have called me Higher, you have called me deeper and I'll go where you will lead me Lord."

He used that song to speak to me when I was in Haiti and when I got home afterwards, prompting me to really challenge myself and if I am willing to go higher and deeper with him or if I am too comfortable and complacent in my walk with him. Our decision to adopt came shortly after, so you can see how that worked out.

In that moment, I stopped and thanked God for all of the blessings around me. I realized that even in the everyday parenting stuff, the sick kids, the ruined dinners, the obnoxious videos, the whining children, the 11 hour car trip, the endless diapers, God calls me to go Higher and Deeper with Him. He doesn't just want that from me in the "BIG" moments of my life, but in every moment. Right now, God has me in the mom stage. The hectic, fun, crazy, frustrating, blessed stage of being a momma to 3 precious kids (and hopefully 4 one day).

I also thanked him for this calling he has placed on our hearts, adopting a son. Like I said, I question our sanity sometimes. I never doubt that this adoption is something we long to do and God has called us to, but I wonder just how crazy it is. When I am lost in the middle of the whirlwind that comes from 3 young kids, I really question my ability, but then I realize that my ability is not what matters, it is HIS and he is more than able. I just have to give it over to him. Trust Him in the small stuff and in the big stuff.

 I look back at scripture and see how many CRAZY things God has called people to do. Things that seemed impossible and things that people didn't understand, but God was always faithful to those He called. Just think about a couple of these crazy situations and how God provided:

Noah building the ark (People thought he was NUTS. It had never even rained before that), Moses convincing Pharaoh to let God's people go & parting the Red Sea, God telling Abraham to pick up and move his entire family and God will lead the way & testing Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son. (just to name a few)

Whoa, I am glad God hasn't called me to be too CRAZY! But I love that he is a BIG God who can handle CRAZY! I love that he wants to challenge us whatever stage of life we are in: with our attitudes, with our thoughts, with our actions, with the small stuff, with the BIG decisions. Here are some things to think about:

Will we go where He leads? Will we choose to TRUST him or to stay comfortable in the life we have created for ourselves? Are we even stopping enough in our busy lives to listen to what he might be calling us to?

Think about how God may be challenging you, speaking to you. He can do some AWESOME things in our lives and in the lives of others if we are willing to get beyond what we have planned for ourselves and open ourselves up to his plans, if we change our attitudes and outlook,  if we allow him to do something CRAZY in us!

Here are some pictures from our little escapade:

Packed in 

Thank goodness for technology!

Dinner on the go....Almost gone. It was good, even if I had to eat it in the puke van.

Girls in the back watching Wee Sing Christmas (yes it's like from the 80's....they love it)

After our 11 hour car trip, it's time to deep clean the car seat...Yuckity yuck! Glad I have a good man who is the best teammate in the world!

Sign Here & Read Read Read

This past week we have gotten very familiar with reading and signing our names and initials. We read through our Ethiopian adoption manual and signed lots of forms that need to be turned into our agency with the first half of our agency fee. Our agency also requires us to read the book, The Connected Child, and take 10 hours of online education. I feel like I am back in college. But, I must say that I am so thankful that Lifeline requires us to do these things. My eyes are already being opened to so much about adoption.

When you decide to adopt, most of your thoughts go only to the happy stuff: rescuing a child, a new family member, living out the gospel, etc. But the reality is, that the chances are the child that God matches you with, may have trouble fitting into your family right away. So many orphans have faced hardships like abandonment, abuse, neglect, disease, social and behavioral disorders, etc before they come home. For a lot of these children, coming into a new family where love and nurturing are second nature, is awkward and not easily accepted.

Being prepared for the possibility of issues arising from the transition is a must. You can't go into this with expectations that everything will be perfect. You have to be prepared. I have heard that as hard as the paperwork, the money, the waiting is, it's the post-adoption that can be the hardest, especially in the beginning. So, Evan and I are committed to being as prepared as we can be before our son comes home.  No, there is no manual that is going to give us step by step directions on what to do, just like no one gave us a manual when we left the hospital with our biological children. But we will be seeking out helpful resources and going into this whole process knowing that this won't be easy, things won't be perfect, but we will fight for, choose to love and embrace this child into our family, whatever it takes. If you have any resources that you have found to be of great help for adoptive parents, let us know.

Getting my education on:

Our first bag of Just Love Coffee came in and it smells YUMMY! We ordered the Ethiopian blend. While Evan is the coffee drinker in the house, I may be drinking a cup of this deliciousness before our 12 hour car trip to Texas tomorrow. Don't forget to order a bag of one of the yummy flavors for yourself or as a gift for someone. You can access our storefront through the icon to the left or here:

https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/themcgintysadopt/

You can keep up with how our fundraising is going over to the right. A BIG THANK YOU to those who have donated so far...you are AWESOME!

I want to make a difference

I love our adoption agency so far. The people that I have talked to have been super sweet and helpful. Everything that Lifeline puts out is centered around the gospel...I LOVE THAT! Check out this short blog post by Lesley Scott, who we will be working with during our adoption process. You can click the link below to get to it. How can you make a difference this year?

http://blog.lifelinechild.org/adoption/i-want-to-make-a-difference/

Just Love Coffee: Storefront Link

I was informed by my awesome sis-in-law that half of our blog is not visible on a Mobile device. That means the blog doesn't look as cute (I guess that's not that important..ok yea it is) and the icon & link for the JUST LOVE COFFEE fundraiser, as mentioned in a previous post, is not showing up. That icon leads DIRECTLY to our McGinty Adoption fundraising page where proceeds from your order will go directly to helping to bring home our son. So, I wanted to share the link within this post...you can click below to access it. Thanks for the heads up sis! Make sure to check out the blog by selecting "view the web version" on your mobile device (usually at the bottom of the screen) so that you can see everything that we are posting.

JUST LOVE COFFEE-MCGINTY ADOPTION FUNDRAISER

STUCK

Ran across this trailer for a film on adoption and bawled. The "Stuck" tour is coming to New Orleans on March 11th. Might as well go ahead and invest in lots of Kleenex. Praying this film will bring awareness, soften hearts, touch lives and prompt others to action. Check out the trailer by clicking HERE.

Just LOVE Coffee

With today being Valentines, there is a lot of LOVE floating around....how about just a little more? How many of you cannot start your day without a hot cup of steaming coffee? Get's your day going right? Well, then you are going to LOVE this fundraiser. Grab your mug, start the coffee pot and curl up and check out JUST LOVE COFEE (<----------that little icon over there).

JUST LOVE COFFEE sells delicious fair trade coffee and then turns around and GIVES part of the proceeds to help others. For every 13 oz. bag of coffee that is sold, they will donate $5 of that bag to help bring our son home. There are other items you can purchase that would also help us too and you can check out the list HERE.

Just Love Coffee takes care of everything. You can place your order online, they will ship it to you, and cut us a check for the adoption expenses. How easy and wonderful is that? So, if you LOVE that steaming hot mug of goodness in your hands or know someone who does (great gift idea), order a bag of yummy coffee for a great cause.

They have all kinds of neat flavors like these:

You can access our store front page by clicking on the icon to the left on our blog. This will automatically help your order count towards bringing our baby boy home. We will keep this fundraiser going throughout the adoption process, so feel free to pump those veins with caffeine anytime:) Thanks for stopping in and have a HappyValentines!

Huh, Adoption Costs How Much?

After we realized that we were being called to adopt and decided to follow that calling, we went online and requested several information packets from different agencies. I was excited to rip open the packets and devour this information so we could get the ball rolling. These packets filled us in on the agency, the countries they worked with and the fees. I read happily about the agency and then looked at the fee sheet...Oh snap!

Don't get me wrong, I had heard the adoption process was not cheap. There are a lot of fees and legal aspects you have to go through. There are a lot of people working hard to make sure that everything is taken care of in a legal and ethical way (Praise God for that). However, the numbers astounded me....around $30,000. I immediately went into panic mode, wondering why God would clearly call us to do something that we clearly could not afford. Surprise...we do not have 30 grand stored up...are you shocked? Um, yea I didn't think so. Just keeping it real. I got discouraged! I began to wonder how people do this. How do everyday people afford to step up to the calling and give orphans a home and a family.

I started reading other families adoption blogs looking for answers and light was shed. What the heck did we do before social media? Every family that I ran across, said the same thing "If you feel called to adopt, do not let the money hold you back. God will provide for what he has called you to do." Whew...we weren't the only ones thinking this. All of these families were fighting for their children financially. Not only were they being wiser with their own finances in order to save money for the process, but they were fundraising. I am reading this GREAT book for anyone who is in the process of adopting or considering it in the future. It has a ton of great fundraising ideas and resources.

The thought of fundraising to bring a child into your family can put a bad taste in some people's mouths. Why would you ask other people for money for something YOU want to do? Here's the deal, there are over 147 million orphans in the world. How can we solve this problem if realistically families cannot afford this alone (especially one income families)? While not everyone feels called to actually adopt, there are many people who want to do good and help others, some by bringing home an orphan, some by utilizing the monetary blessings God has bestowed to them. That is where fundraising and donations come into play.

The way I am trying to look at it is like this, by fundraising and accepting donations, people who feel led to give are having a part in something bigger than themselves. They are part of bringing our son home. So many people give to charities or causes where they may not even know the individual who will benefit from that (those things are GREAT and needed), but supporting an adoptive family puts a face, a name, and a story to your donation. You are not just helping that family get a child, you are helping that child get a family. What an awesome lifelong gift!

I am having to REALLY trust God on this one, because when I look at the numbers, I want to cry and back out. But then God reminds me that all things are His.....even money. He can give it and he can take it away. He can work miracles and he can touch hearts and prompt people to give. When I am tempted to stress over how we will pay for this, I find comfort in these verses:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34:

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare."

Psalm 40:5

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap the harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Oh thank you Lord for your Word and how it speaks life into me! How it can calm my fears, my anxieties and bring PEACE! Nothing better than that my friends. God holds true to his word and I know he will see us through this process in all aspects, including finances. He may even use some of you who are reading this right now, and I am humbled and grateful for that.

Unless you are close to someone who has adopted or have looked into it yourself, you probably, like me, have a distorted view of what adoption costs. I wanted to show you an example of the fee breakdown so that any of you who feel inclined to donate or participate in on of our fundraisers, know exactly where your money will be going.  So here it is:

Fees:

ESTIMATED ETHIOPIA ADOPTION COSTS

AGENCY FEES

Application Fee $250.00

Lifeline Children's Services Fee $5,500.00

Orphan Care Sustainability Projects *** $1,500.00

Home Study Fee* $1,500.00

Post Adoption Services $750.00

 Post adoption services to be paid to local provider for out of state families.

There will be a home study fee given by the home study provider in your state for which you

will be charged a fee (typically $1500-$3000) for  all families that live in states in which Lifeline is not licensed. 

Out-of-State Residents:

Agency Fees listed above are to be paid in 4 installments.

Paid with application $ 250.00

Paid upon application acceptance  $ 2,583.33

Payable at the completion of home study $ 2,583.33

Paid when dossier is sent to Ethiopia $ 2,583.33

Out-of-State Fees $8,000.00

OUT OF POCKET U.S. ADOPTION EXPENSES

Fingerprint Fee (For Home Study) $108.00

Passport pictures (8 copies) $20.00

Passports for two parents $240.00

Citizenship and Immigration Services Fee (includes fingerprinting for 2 adults) $890.00

NCFA Parent Training $195.00

International Adoption Clinic Seminar $150.00

Birth Certificates (1 copy of each) $26.00

Marriage License (1 copy) $13.00

Dossier Authentication $575.00

FedEx fees (dossier sent to Lifeline) $45.00

FedEx fees (authenication shipping) $300.00

Referral Fee for one child*** (Due when accepting referral) $9,700.00

Medical Reports for home study (varies depending on health insurance coverage)*

Medical Reports for dossier (varies depending on health insurance coverage)*

Estimated Subtotal $ 12,262.00

Total U.S. Fees (Out of State) $ 20,262.00

IN-COUNTRY EXPENSES WHILE IN ETHIOPIA

Note: Based on two trips for two people, adopting one child.)

Airfare (tickets for 2 and return flight for your child after second trip) $ 7,000.00

Hotel Accomindations $ 700.00

Parent Visas $ 80.00

Transportation in Ethiopia $ 500.00

Child's US Visa Fee $ 230.00

Food (per person) $ 200.00

Estimated Total of In-country Expenses $ 8,710.00

Estimated Overall Fees for an Ethiopian Adoption

TOTAL ADOPTION COST $ 30,472.00

Is that overwhelming or what?  So, now you can see how this all adds up. Now you can see why we will be doing fundraisers. Hope you will join in all the fun that is to come through our fundraisers. Check in tomorrow as I officially introduce you to one of our fundraisers that will be ongoing throughout the adoption process. It just might "perk" up your day. See you then!

Why Ethiopia?

                                                


As we began telling people that we felt called to adopt, one of the main questions was "From where?" At first, we did not have an answer. My heart was set on Haiti since I went on a mission trip there in November, but we didn't qualify for Haiti based on our age and how long we have been married.

We were open to wherever God would lead us. We thought about domestic adoption, but realized that the chances of a young family with 3 kids under 3 getting a baby was highly unlikely. We knew we were going to pursue a child under 3 because we wanted to stay in birth order. I  just had this sinking feeling that if I created a profile and was waiting on a birth mother to choose us, it was going to be a long wait and there was no guarantee.

We thought about foster care. We know the need for foster parents is great. But everything I read said not to go into foster care expecting to adopt. I heard of so many stories where foster parents got attached and fully expected to be able to adopt children that were in their care for over a year and last minute, the child was pulled by the birth family. I just don't think that I could handle that emotionally. Plus, with my kids so young, I was afraid of having different children come and go from our home. I thought that could be really confusing for their little minds to grasp. However, it may be something that we consider later in our life if God calls us to it.

So, it basically boiled down to an international adoption. I was a little intimidated about it as it is the most expensive adoption process, but I felt an overall peace about it. We had a list of 15 different countries that our agency works with. Each country has certain requirements including: age, marriage length,  number of biological children, cost, time in country, etc. After looking at all 15, it came down to Ethiopia. Ethiopia has over 4.6 million orphans. It is one of the largest populations of orphans in the world and the highest population of orphans in Africa.

Once we realized that Ethiopia was our country, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My homestudy case worker said to always know that things may look different down the road. Sometimes, the number of children that you are pursuing changes or their health state or even the country. I am opened to continually hearing God's voice on this subject as I know he will match us with our child regardless.

For now, it's Ethiopia...a whole 8,568 miles away from our home. Wow...how amazing is that? Never would I have thought that one of my children would be half way around the world.

Big News.....We're Adopting!!!!

It all started with a book in February of 2012. I was looking for a good read, when my cousin passed along MaryBeth Chapman’s book, Choosing to See. I went back and forth between laughing and crying. Since I had just given birth to Savannah, I was on an emotional roller coaster, as the hormones depleted slowly from my body and I was recovering from a c-section. The book took me a while to read. Between feedings, diapers, sleep depravation and caring for a 2 year old and a 1 year old, it was a slow process. Yet, I always came back to it until I was finished.

By the time I had read MB’s story, much of it including the story of her daughter’s adoptions and tragedy that followed, God started planting a tiny tiny tiny seed in my heart. The Chapman’s had started an orphan foundation “Show Hope,” to help families with the financial burden of adoption. My cousin had expressed how she would love to adopt one day, and I would always say “I think that is awesome. Orphans need good homes and families. God just hasn’t called me to adopt.” And that is where I was at. 

But after I finished that book, I  looked up Show Hopes website (Why am I looking at this..I have no plans or desires to adopt?). But then, adoption started popping up on my radar..like EVERYWHERE over the next few months! I would see it in movies, tv shows, in magazines, in books, online. Had it been there before, of course, but for some reason my heart was more tuned into it.  I realized that God was pressing this whole adoption thing on my heart pretty hard and I was not sure why. After all, adoption, was not in MY plan. But I should know by now that my plans don't always align with God’s plans, and his are far greater than mine ever are, so I should roll with the punches.

 After I had Knox, I said I would be fine with just 2 kids, even though we always desired a big family, but I was overwhelmed and tired. Then when Knox was 4 months old...oh hello pregnancy for the 4th time in 3 years. Once we had Savannah, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. After Savannah, I was convinced that I was DONE! I said I didn’t want to go through surgery and recovery again. I had my hands full with 3 kids under 3. For months I was convinced, I WAS DONE, and Evan was good with that too. After all, if I kept having kids, we would never get out of the diaper and formula phase and by golly, I just want to go to Target without having to stick a ring pop in my kid’s mouths and pray that we could make it through the store in 15 minutes, groceries strategically placed around Savannah’s car seat, without the children bursting into screams as everyone looked at me like “Control your crazy kids woman!” Life with older kids seems so much easier when it comes to the practical stuff. We had 3, they were close in age, this was going to be GREAT! I could homeschool them all together. They would all leave the house around the same time and Evan and I could par-tay it up in about 20 years. 

ENTER GOD..well, God really was always there, he just decided to throw a curve ball into my oh so perfect plan again. As time went on this past year, I couldn’t shake the adoption thing. I was nervous to tell Evan because this was never in our plan and I was worried that I was just experiencing some sort of emotional high that would fade. Well, it didn’t. It only got stronger. Then, God called me to go to Haiti and everything in me fell to pieces. I wanted to pack every child in my suitcase and bring them home. Seeing orphans face to face, their head on your shoulder, their dirty little hands in yours, scooping their only meal of the day into their little mouths will do some damage to your comfortable, hard American heart.

 I came home completely confident that God was calling us to adopt. I asked Evan to pray about it, as I knew he was not hearing the same calling from God at the time. Like a faithful spiritual leader of our family, he committed to praying and seeking counsel on the subject. After some time, he said he wanted to pray about it some more, but he was beginning to realize that as he prayed “God, should we take in and care for an orphan?” There was a very unlikely chance that God was going to say “Umm..actually Evan, nah..that’s not such a good idea. Leave that orphan to someone else.” God is pretty clear in his word: 

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

James 1:27

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.”

Isaiah 1:17

“I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!”

Matthew 25:40

I knew that Evan would be intentional about this prayer and I knew if he honestly came back and said that this was not the right move for our family, I would trust that. As Evan went on his 10 day hiking trip in the Appalachian mountains, I just had a peace and a longing for this child (whom may not even be born yet). I began to journal to this precious life saying that I had faith God was going to continue to soften Evan’s heart towards pursuing adoption. Sure enough, when he got home, he told me that he felt confident that we should move forward with it. I couldn’t stop smiling! It was like Christmas morning. I felt relief, confidence, hope and God’s faithfulness. Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel. We have been adopted by Christ. What a privilege to adopt one of his precious children into our family.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

So, here we are! We have chosen Lifeline as our agency and based on our qualifications we will be pursuing adoption in Ethiopia for a boy ages 0-3. We would love to give Knox a little brother. I already envision them running around the house playing pirates and warriors. We have a long journey ahead as the process could take up to 3 years. We would love for you to be a part of our journey to our son. I will update this blog as often as I can with how the process is coming along. We would also really appreciate your prayers for our family. 

Application complete