Meeting Maverick

Oh, where to start? So much has happened since we arrived here in China. Internet is spotty and our little one is NON STOP action, so I have not had a chance to post before now. First, let me say that the outpouring of love and support from home have been such an encouragement to us! I love that so many of you are excited to see Maverick with us. He certainly is a loved little boy!

We traveled 29 hours to get to China and had no problems getting here. The 15 hour plane ride was not one I was particularly fond of, and honestly am seriously dreading doing again with a 3 year old who cannot sit still! But, we will survive and we want to come home, so it must be done! We arrived in China around lunch and were greeted by our guide. She filled us in on our itinerary for the week in Zhengzhou and got us settled into our hotel. Our hotel is very nice and we unpacked and hit up Pizza Hut for dinner :) We came back to the hotel and CRASHED at 7 p.m. Our goal was to stay awake till around 11, so I would say we rocked that..haha! We tried to get a good night's sleep as we knew it would be the last one for a while...and boy were we right! I woke up around 3 a.m. from jet lag and the anxiousness of meeting Maverick. I got out of bed and down on my knees next to his crib and just started praying. I fell back asleep for maybe 30 minutes and Evan and I were up around 6:30. We enjoyed a killer breakfast at  the hotel. It felt like we were in New Orleans as they were playing jazz music...score! We got some caffeine in our system and felt like new people.

At 10 a.m. we met our guide downstairs in the lobby. The entire hour before I was pacing the floor and my insides felt like they were going to burst! Evan and I prayed and thanked God for calling us to bring Maverick into our family and being faithful. We prayed that he would attach well to both of us and just feel a sense of peace. Every emotion was sweeping through my body. Nervousness, excitement, joy, sorrow. I felt it all. I knew that day was going to be hard and beautiful all at the same time...and it was! We arrived at the civil affairs office packed with families waiting to meet their children. The room was stuffy and filled with anxious parents who were staring down the hall to see if the next child being brought in was theirs. I couldn't watch, but Evan did.

On our way to meet our boy!

The Civil Affairs Office where we met Maverick

All the families waiting to meet their kiddos. 

After what seemed like an eternity, I hear Evan say, "I see him, he's coming!" My heart dropped out of my chest and I tried to get a peek around the chaos of children, parents and care takers. That's when I saw him, walking down the hall, holding the hand of a lady in a red sweatshirt. Those big brown eyes were coming towards me. He was so little and so cute and he was about to be in my arms. Oh my goodness! He had on a blue backpack and way too many winter clothes for it being like 80 degrees.

As he approached the room full of American strangers and I tried to walk towards him, he began pulling the woman's hand back and trying to run away back the way he came. This was a good thing, although it hurt my heart to see him scared, I was thankful that he would not just come to a room of strangers. This is HUGE for attachment purposes, Many kids will go to anyone because they have never attached to someone and they will do whatever IT takes to gain approval from someone to get what they want. I walked towards my crying and scared boy and got down on his level. I told him hello and then I scooped him up. He was crying hard! There was so much chaos going on, that I wanted to escape. I quickly brought him to a corner of the room where we could be without everyone around. I sat him on my lap and tried to comfort him. He just kept crying. We had brought a bag full of snacks and suckers and Evan handed him his juice cup and some puffs. Immediately, he stopped crying, but you could tell he was still reserved. We looked through his backpack and the family had sent back our family photo album that we had sent to him, Where our family pic was, they had kept it and replaced it with a photo of Maverick and Joshua (his foster brother). When he saw that picture, he lit up. Suddenly he started talking like crazy! We can tell he really loves Joshua and they share a very special bond.

Grieving hard. The sucker was not working! He loves them now though! 

From that point on, he played with us and smiled and laughed. We completed our paperwork there and took our official adoption picture. He smiled so big and I of course was a sweaty hot mess, but I will treasure this picture forever! Our guide told us that we had 24 hours, called a harmonious period, where we could decide if we wanted to adopt him or send him back. Ummmm...say what? That was not an option, regardless of what he was like. We had committed to loving this boy and welcoming him into our family long ago, and we were not going back on that. We told her, we don't need 24 hours, disruption is not an option! She told us, if we were sure, that we could have adoption day later that day rather than wait until Tuesday. We said "yes, let's do this." She laughed at us. Actually, she laughs at us a lot. I guess we Americans are crazy or something.

His adoption family picture at the civil affairs office. Look at that smile!

After we left the office, we went straight to Wal-Mart to get some snacks and a stroller and basics that we needed. Maverick wanted EVERY snack! Go figure! He sat in the cart and just pointed, but was very well behaved. After Wal-Mart we went to a really yummy noodle restaurant with our guide. Let me just say, the boy can EAT and he is very self sufficient! He chowed down. This is where I also had the pleasure of taking him to a squatty potty. Thank you America for Western toilets...eek! Not fun, but thankfully, he has had no accidents and lets us know when he needs to go. Also, we have him wearing pull ups instead of split pants with nothing on underneath (thank you China!).

Later than afternoon, we went to complete the adoption and Maverick officially became our son! PRAISE GOD! An orphan no longer, forever ours and we are forever his! On our way to the notary, he crashed in my arms in the van. The boy was exhausted! We finally were able to come back to our hotel room where we got some downtime. We tried to give him a bath and he screamed! I was able to do a quick wash down while I got totally soaking wet. We put him in footie pj's, which he hated at first, but by the end of the night he was zipping up and down and loving them.

Last night, we realized just how active this boy is. He runs around non stop, jumping off of things and climbing anything he can. He is very mischievous and he knows it. We have been hit and kicked and pinched when he doesn't get his way, but we have also been laughed at, kissed and hugged. He has so much fun with his Baba and if one of us leaves the room to go to the bathroom, he is calling for us until we come back "Mama, Baba!" He did not want to go to bed last night. We even turned off all of the lights and tried to get him to settle. He still ran and climbed everything. He tried to pull curtains down and push all the buttons on everything in the hotel. He would not settle and began crying hysterically! We were worn out! I mean WORN! We tried everything to comfort him and he fought us tooth and nail. We couldn't put him in his bed because he can climb over the crib rails. Finally Evan put him in the baby position and held him so close he couldn't move and paced the room with him. He FINALLY settled and Evan stuck him in bed with me. He curled up with me and knocked out. Thank you Lord!

A few hours later he woke up screaming and crying. We are in a king sized bed and he kicked and flipped and punched us over and over. We tried to settle him and he wouldn't have it. He would curl up next to me eventually and fall asleep. This happened about 5 times in the night. We were told that he wakes up a lot at night, but this was intense. He either has night terrors or was grieving so hard. It could be a combination of both, We got very little sleep, but we survived, Once again, we were not shocked by any of this. This is typical behavior of a child losing everything.

This morning was a new day and he woke up happy. He grabbed his snack and juice and ran to the window to open it. We had a wonderful breakfast and the boy chowed down! We walked the city today and even got a Starbucks (Thank you Lord!). He was very partial to mama's frozen green tea frappuccino. He got a chocolate biscotti and sat in his stroller as we walked and got some air. It's hard to keep him tame in the room, although he has played with everything we have brought: balloons, balls, felt board, cars, etc.  He wants to go go go! He is uninterested in T.V or anything that involves sitting still.

Learning how to make balloon animals with Baba.

Mama gets lots of kisses

We went to take his passport picture today, which we will get on Friday. Tomorrow we are actually going to the orphanage and we hear we will get to meet the foster family. We are so excited and nervous about this. It could potentially set him back, but we know that we cannot miss an opportunity to learn more about his past. Please pray specifically for him tomorrow.  We are enjoying our time with him and he is bonding with us very well! We are so thankful for God answering our prayers in this way. 

China Itinerary

We leave tomorrow, well almost today!!!! We JUST finished packing and realized that one of our suitcases is busted...haha! We are on it! Thankfully, we do not fly out until the evening so we will have the morning to get some last minute stuff done, like buying new luggage (Good grief!)

Many of you have asked me what we will be doing in China for 2 weeks, so I thought that I would give a quick overview of what our time will look like.

Friday: Fly to China (with a layover in L.A.)

Sunday: (China time, which is actually your Saturday because we will be 13 hours ahead of the U.S.). We will arrive in Maverick's provincial City around lunch. We will meet our guide, go over our schedule for the week, maybe hit up Wal-mart for necessities and settle into our hotel. While we will likely want to sleep, we are going to try our very best to stay awake as long as possible to help with jet lag and get on China time.

Monday (your Sunday night): Family Day/Gotcha Day. We will meet Maverick at the Civil Affairs Office. This will be a very difficult day for him so extra prayers are appreciated. From this point on, he will be with us at all times. YAY!

Tuesday: Adoption Day at the Civil Affairs Office

Wednesday: Shopping & Sightseeing in Provincial City

Thursday: Visit the Orphanage where Maverick was for the first part of his life. This will be tough as well, but also good to see a part of his past.

Friday: Get Maverick's passport and fly to Guanzghou (where the U.S. consulate is). We will spend the 2nd week here and thankfully we will be staying at a hotel with other families from our agency who are completing their adoptions as well. Looking forward to meeting them all in person and seeing them with their kiddos. Hoping this will give Maverick some little friends to relate to as well.

Saturday: Maverick has to go through a consulate Medical Exam :(

Sunday-Tuesday: Likely do sightseeing & shopping & bonding time in hotel

Wednesday: Consulate Appointment & Evan's Birthday!

Thursday-Friday: More sightseeing/bonding in the hotel

Saturday: Fly out at 1:40 a.m. (YIKES!) and start the long trip back home!

Saturday in the U.S.: Arrive back home! YAY!

It's almost go time folks and we are so  excited! I wonder if I will get any sleep tonight...probably not!

A New Season: Attachment (FRIENDS AND FAMILY PLEASE READ!)

I cannot believe that we are leaving for China THIS week! 5 days and we will be on a plane heading towards our boy. I can hardly contain my excitement or my nerves. Everything we have dreamed of and prayed for the past 3 years is about to happen. It really feels surreal...maybe that is why my bags are still not packed (working on that).

I wanted to take some time to explain to you all what this next season will look like for us. We have such a supportive community of family, friends and even people we have never met. We know and trust that everyone will continue to be supportive and understanding once we are home with Maverick.

Over the last 2 1/2 years, Evan and I have gone through much training, read books & articles, asked questions, and corresponded with been there done that parents about bringing home an adopted child. We don't claim to be experts on any of this, because we have never experienced it first hand, but we are trusting in what we have learned from the experts, our agency and other families.

While we are all rejoicing over Maverick coming home, he will not be feeling the same way. As I have said before, he is about to be ripped from everything he has ever known...good or bad, it is what he knows. He has not been praying for us or wishing we would come take him to America or into our family. This is going to rock his little world! He will be confused and scared. It's going to take time for him to trust Evan and myself. We are, of course, praying for God to move in a supernatural way to form that bond fast with us, but we also know it is going to take work.

Part of building this trust is going through an attachment period called cocooning. Essentially this means that we will be keeping Maverick's world very small for a while when we get home. In order for him to learn that we are his forever family, Evan and I are his parents, we are never going to leave him, will tend to his needs and be his constant, we must establish some boundaries for a while.

What do these boundaries look like? For us, we have decided that means that we will not be leaving the house for a while and not having visitors for a time period. How long? We are not sure as that will be based on how Maverick is adjusting. That is so hard for me to type because I am such a social person and I thrive on being around my family and friends. However, we do not want to have people in and out during a very crucial time when Maverick is trying to figure out this whole family/mommy/daddy dynamic. This time period is focused on him and our family.

Evan and I will be the only ones to meet Maverick's needs. If he has a need, we will meet it immediately. In many ways, it is like having a newborn. Baby has a need, mommy and daddy meet it, baby begins to trust mom and dad. The cycle continues as trust and bonding are built over time. We did not get that time with Maverick as a baby. We have 3 years to make up for in the trust and bonding arena. This will take time and we are dedicated to sacrificing whatever we have to in order for our son and us to form these healthy bonds.

I heard it said before to think of healthy attachment as a circle that expands out. Initially, it will be the smallest circle, just our immediate family (the 6 of us). Then, once we feel like he is attached well and thriving, we will introduce the next circle in his life which would be our extended family who we are close with, a little at a time, from there the next circle would be close friends and so on. There is no telling how long it will take to achieve a healthy balance in each circle, and we are not putting a time constraint on any of them. We will follow Maverick's lead and ultimately do what is best for our family.

I realize that this will be hard, on us and on some of you. You have walked this road with us so intentionally and prayerfully. You have shared in our joys and in our struggles. You have supported us financially and through encouragement. It really has taken a village and you are our village. We are thankful for you! So, I get that you will want to be a part of his life and ours once he is home, and let me say that we want you to, it's just going to take some time. Please be patient with us! Please know that we are not trying to be rude when we have to turn down a visit or a phone call for a while. We still love you and we want you in our lives, but this is a season that we MUST be faithful to for the sake of our boy. This adoption journey does not end when Maverick is in our arms, or when that plane lands back in Louisiana. In fact, it will just be the beginning and will hold a whole new set of challenges and joys.

We are so thankful to those of you who have already planned on ways to help support us once we are home. We are excited to see so many faces of those we love welcome us and Maverick home at the airport. We can't wait to hug your neck at the end of a long trip. If you want to come to the airport and are not on our airport homecoming page, send me a message and I can add you.

We are also so thankful to all of you who have signed up to bring us a meal. I cannot tell you what a blessing this is to us and what a burden it lifts to not have to worry about cooking dinner while we fight jet lag and get adjusted. A million times THANK YOU!  If you are bringing us a meal, please be mindful to not pick up or love on Maverick. Once again, all affection needs to come from us for now. If you want to give him a gift, please give it to us and we will give it to him. Many adopted children have not learned to properly attach and therefore will go to anyone to gain favor, while others will be terrified of strangers. We don't know how he will react and that is why we take precautions and set boundaries. I know some of this may sound silly, but it is vital to attachment. Also, know that as much as we want to visit with you, long visits will have to come later on. Trust me when I say we will let you know when that time comes. While my husband is an introvert, I am an extrovert and I will need my tribe back around me as soon as possible!

We covet your prayers and encouragement as we get ready to enter into this new season of finally bringing Maverick Home! Thank you for taking the time to read this and for understanding. We love you all!