For his heart

Lately, my heart has been so heavy for Maverick. He doesn't know it yet, but my heart is already connected to his all the way around the world. He is my son, and the thought of any hurt or pain coming his way makes this mama's heart hurt too. Yes,  I am deeply aching for and ready to have him home and here with us, but, I cannot stop thinking about how hard this transition of coming into our family may be on him in the coming months. Can you even imagine? Being pulled from everything you have ever known, your language,  your home, your culture, your care givers, your country, your playmates, etc. All the while, you are handed over to complete strangers who look nothing like you and speak a language that you don't understand and you are expected to just go with them. I CAN'T EVEN!!!

Obviously, this is a necessary part of the adoption process. This heart wrenching reality has to play out in order for Maverick to become part of our family, to be an orphan no longer. I long for the day when they hand him over to me. The first time I wrap my arms around him, the first time I kiss his face and sing our favorite lullaby, "Baby Mine" in his ear. There is no way to know how he will react, as every child is different. He may come willingly, he may scream and cry until he goes limp from exhaustion, he may try to get away, he may look around confused but calm, he may rest his head on my shoulder as I rock him back and forth. I will not go in with expectations of how I think he will react. I have to prepare my heart for the unexpected, knowing that his world will be turned upside down in an instant. Knowing that all that we can do as parents is to be there and love him as he hurts, and do whatever we can to let him know that he can trust us. 

I have replayed this day in my mind over and over, thinking about how we will feel, how it could potentially look, but most of all, I think about my boy's heart. Not just in that moment, but over the weeks and months that follow. We will love him well and love him with all that we are, but love isn't always enough. You know who is always enough though, my God! He is enough to heal and restore the brokenness and confusion that our boy may feel. He is enough to calm the fear and hurt. He is enough to pour out grace upon grace on Evan and I as we embrace this sweet boy into our family and learn how to do life with him, how to be his parents. 

Because He is enough, I know that I can turn to him with any burdens I have, and so I am. I am praying for our little Mav's heart now, for God to begin to prepare him to leave what he has known and step into our life, his new life. For him to be comforted and for him to be able to attach to us and trust us. For him to grow to love us as much as we love him.

We have about 6 months until we meet Maverick face to face. I know my nerves and emotions will be all over the place as we get closer. In the mean time, this mama is on her knees 7,682 miles away from her baby boy calling out to the one who sees us both, who knows us both, who created us both and who loves us both. I am so thankful for such a loving Father who carries my burdens for me when I am overwhelmed with what ifs and hard realities.  Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your burdens on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." What a sweet balm to my sometimes weary soul to know that I am not alone in this, Maverick is not alone is this either. 

My God sees, he hears my prayers, he knows my heart and he knows Maverick's too. He doesn't want either of us to be filled with anxiety or fear, he wants us to give it over to Him, and so I am trying. Trying to trust that he is holding Maverick in the palm of his hand and preparing that sweet little man of mine for such a big journey ahead. As I trust and cast these burdens off day by day, moment by moment, I hope that sweet boy will get a sense of that and find comfort in a mama who seeks God's unending faithfulness, even when times are tough and scary and unknown. 

If you have been faithful to pray for our son, may I ask that you join us in prayer over this next season. Will you pray for peace for our little one, for all of the crazy emotions that he will feel, for him to trust and attach to us in a healthy manner, for the days leading up to our gotcha day. I so appreciate it friends. It is encouraging to know that many of you will be praying over Maverick's little heart as he prepares for this huge change.

Psalm 23 always brings a sense of peace to me when I read it. It makes me take a deep breathe in and as I breathe out, release any anxiety, fear and worry that I may have. This is the verse I think of when I pray for peace to just pour out over Maverick (and if I am honest, Evan and I too). 

Awaiting the Acronyms

I just wanted to take a minute to update everyone on where we are in the process. As many of you saw last week on our FB page, we received our immigration approval notice, which is a HUGE step towards Maverick. This gives us permission to adopt a child from a convention country. We still have a ways to go, but we are taking one step at a time and getting more and more excited (is that possible?) with every day that passes

We are trucking right along, and currently waiting for our Immigration to be authenticated here in the states and then our Dossier will be on the way to China. At that point we will have hit the next BIG step DTC (Dossier to China). This means, your entire stack of important papers with all of your personal information, home study, medical reports, and authenticated documents will arrive in China. From there it takes some time to get a LID (Log in date) which means you are officially logged into China's system. Then comes a fairly long wait (blah!) for your official LOA (letter of approval). This is a big one! If you remember, we received Pre-approval for Maverick back in February. LOA means, it is a done deal! Oh, how I cannot wait to get that letter in the mail. There are a few more steps after that before we receive approval to travel, but we will get to those later. Are all of those acronyms starting to blend together to you too? They used to be gibberish to me and now I am obsessed with them.

While some days are just plain hard to wait, I have to say that God really prepared us for this wait while we were in process to adopt from Ethiopia. That road was so long and many times frustrating, that this road to Maverick and the China process has been, well, kind of a walk in the park in comparison. God knew what he was doing! Of course He did! I think he prepared our hearts well for this stage.

The thought that our son could potentially be home before the end of the year, seems almost unreal to me. I mean, here we are in May already! We have been in this process for only 4 months and so much has happened already. So while the ache in my heart is heavy because we want our son home with us, it is also thankful for how quickly this year will fly by. I kind of have a vision that I would love to see come to fruition. My constant prayer is that I will have all 4 of my kids sitting in front of our Christmas tree on Christmas morning. I can see it in my head. It is my heart's desire! I am praying it can become a reality. Will you pray that along with us?

It does seem that Maverick is in a very loving foster family and this gives us so much peace. Being able to watch his birthday video as he sat in his foster mom's lap and she clapped his hands together as they sang, was good for this mama's heart. It kills me that someone else is caring for my child halfway around the world when I want to care for him, but it really does seem like he is well loved for now. That has been my prayer all along. When I thought he was in an orphanage, which he was for some time, I always prayed for him to have favor with his care givers. That they would truly love him and give him extra care (which is hard because you want all of those babies to be loved and cared for). Then, we found out that he was on the Show Hope floor for some time (which is wonderful) and that he has been with this one foster family for a year. God heard my prayers!

We are excited for all that is ahead. We are trusting God day by day with our boy and with this process. I know He is watching over him even when we cannot. I may be watching his birthday video over and over, just so I can see his little face everyday and feel close to him somehow. I find myself staring at the screen with the goofiest grin on my face. Thank you Jesus for birthday videos and pictures! Here are a few pictures from his third birthday, if you missed them on facebook. Seriously, I am in love!

This is the first time we have seen him smile!

He was showing that he is 3! 

On another note, we are so close to our fundraising goal. I cannot even believe it! This has been a long time coming! We may have one more event later this year to knock this out, but we are in the home stretch! We do still have a few shirts left (some sizes are not available). If you would like one, send me a message and let me know what size and style you are looking for and I can let you know if we have it.

Movie Night Fundraiser Recap

Gracious, I am still trying to recover from the fun weekend we had. Our movie night fundraiser was a huge success and so much fun! Thank you to everyone who came out. We loved seeing each and every one of you. We were so very overwhelmed by the people who came. It was awesome to see family, old friends, and make new friends. As I saw each of you walk through the door, my heart was just so thankful and filled with such humbleness, that God has brought you to love and encourage us and support our family for the sake of Maverick.

While we were initially so sad that the night had to be moved indoors to the YMCA due to rain, I honestly am thankful that we did move it. I think being able to be inside without mosquitoes and sloppy grass was a bonus. Although a couple of us may have turned into popsicles from the A/C being a little too friendly:) God was faithful and allowed our event to still take place, and he brought each of you out that night. He always amazes me...always!

I want to take a minute and give a HUGE thank you to our small group. These guys worked their tails off to make this night happen. They planned it without us even knowing, just to bless us. Their love and support throughout this whole process has been UNREAL! While some of them are actually family members (hey cousins), they are all like family to us. I am reminded time and time again how awesome it is to be a part of an amazing faith community. I am so thankful to be a part of our church, who has supported and loved us from day 1.

To all of the people who volunteered your time to help set up, tear down or work the event, THANK YOU! It would not have happened without you. There was a lot of work to be done and you made it run smoothly. If you baked goodies beforehand, thank you, I gained 5 more pounds!

To everyone who donated a raffle prize, you are awesome! We had some GREAT raffle items. Over 2o items went home with people. I heard compliments about all of them and the winners were pretty excited!

What a night! I think all of the kids had fun and I hope the adults did too! We will NEVER forget this event. Thank you to everyone who bought shirts, food, raffles and just donated. We are so grateful to you!

We came out making $2,350.52! That amount will be added to our adoption expenses for Maverick. God provides y'all!

THANK YOU ALL! Here are a few pictures from the event...

Just 10 questions

We were able to request an update on Maverick a couple of weeks ago. We can only request updates every 3 months, and we are allowed to ask only 10 questions. This is wonderful and hard all at the same time. As his soon to be family, we want to know EVERYTHING there is about him, every little detail of who he is, what he likes, what he does etc. However, we only get 10 questions for now. We'll take what we can get:)

Here is what we found out about our little guy:

• He is currently in a foster home with a family that consists of a mom, dad, grandma and 2 other foster brothers. He has been with this family for a year. This is great news! This gives us hope that he has been every well cared for and is more likely to be able to attach because he has had steady caregivers, family and siblings. With there being only 3 children in the home, we are hoping he gets plenty of attention and love. Hopefully this will help him transition into our family a little easier. This is also hard. It saddens me to think of having to pull him from his foster family. Obviously, they could not adopt him, but they are what he knows as family. This hurts my heart for our boy and for the foster family. I am sure leaving will be very hard on both of them. I will forever be grateful for this family who cared for him. I only wish that I could meet them and thank them. 

• His favorite drink is milk, which if he drinks too fast, will come out of his nose due to his cleft palate. That would be the case with any drink and possibly food. 

• His favorite toy is a scooter.

• He is happy when he gets something that he likes :) (Imagine that!)

• He always shares well with children younger than him and when he is happy, he will sometimes share with children older them him. (Uh oh...with 3 older siblings, this should be interesting.)

• The best way to comfort him when he is upset is to hold him and talk to him. If another child did something wrong to him, it makes him happy if you correct that child. (Sounds like he likes justice. This also sounds like my Savannah who is currently the baby of the family. She and Mav will be only 2 months apart. I wonder how their roles in the family will play out together. We might have 2 spicy littles.)

• He wakes up every morning at 7 a.m. and goes to bed at 8:30 (Sounds like he will adjust well to our schedule.)

• They described his personality as outgoing and strong character. (We can't wait to see how he fits into our family)

It is so comforting to know these little bits and pieces of his life. We can't wait to learn and discover who he is once he is here. In the mean time, these little updates help us to hold on, help to remind us that this is real, that our boy who we have prayed for all these years is out there, and he will be home soon.

New Shirts To Help Bring Maverick Home!

UPDATE: THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO ORDERED. THE ORDER HAS BEEN PLACED. 86 SHIRTS WERE ORDERED, WHICH RAISED $860 TOWARDS BRINGING MAVERICK HOME!


You asked for them, so here they are... New shirts to help bring Maverick home! We'll be traveling to China to bring him home later this year and these shirt sales will help us get closer to our goal of what we need financially to make that happen.

We are offering 2 different shirts this time around because we just couldn't decide. We wanted one that was a basic orphan care message and one that was a little more personal and that we thought all of you fellow Louisiana peeps would like!

So, here are the new designs...

These are 3/4 sleeves and are that same super soft vintage feeling material, like our last shirt. They are unisex, but they run smaller than a typical shirt because they are clingy material, so keep that in mind when ordering! If you are between sizes, you may want to go up in size.

These only come in adult sizes S-XXL.

Shirts are $25 (a little more than last time because they are baseball tees and require more fabric). If your shirt needs to be shipped, please add $3 to that cost. 

We are ONLY TAKING PRE-ORDERS this time around, to save money. So, be sure to place your order ASAP if you want one. We will likely not have shirts in stock later.

You can order a shirt by using the "DONATE" button on our blog's home page. If you are on a mobile device, scroll down on the home page. You will need to click "view full web version" at the bottom of your screen in order to see the donate button on the top left of the blog. If you do not have paypal, you can send a check.

PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR SIZE(S) in the message portion when you pay, along with your shipping address if your shirt will need to be shipped.

We will allow a few weeks for orders to come in to us, before we place our big order. Once the shirts come in, we will let you know and send them out ASAP.

THANK YOU FOR HELPING TO BRING MAVERICK HOME THROUGH PURCHASING A SHIRT!

What is Cleft palate?

As may of you know, our little guy was listed on our agency's special focus waiting list with the need: Congenital cleft palate. I wanted to take a brief minute today to explain what cleft palate is and how we will work to correct this once he is home.

Many people were surprised upon seeing Maverick's picture that he did not have any noticeable medical need. I think it was assumed that he would have cleft lip (picture on the right), which very often comes along with  a cleft palate, but not always. From an external view, you cannot see Maverick's cleft palate. His mouth looks perfectly normal (much like the picture on the left).

But, if you take a glance inside of his mouth, you will see where the problem lies. Your palate is the roof of your mouth and is comprised of two parts, the hard palate (front of the mouth) and soft palate (to the throat). Cleft palate is when the sides of the palate did not fuse together in utero. Depending on how much of the cleft is present depends on what degree the cleft is. Maverick has 2nd degree cleft palate, which means his hard and soft palate need to be repaired. The cleft opens up directly to the nasal cavity.

Cleft is the most common birth defect, occurring in about 1 in 700 births. 25% of these children, have only cleft palate. Clefts are also more common in boys. Cleft typically is caused from one of these 3 factors: an inherited characteristic from parents (gene), environment, and genetic syndromes. About 30% of clefts are associated with a genetic syndrome. We are unsure which of these caused Maverick's cleft. We have heard that they are more common in Asian children due to environmental factors, but we cannot say with 100% certainty that is what caused his. We were also told that when only cleft palate is present, there is a higher chance of the child having a genetic syndrome. We do not know if that is the case with Maverick, as he has not had genetic testing done.

Typically cleft palates are repaired within the child's first year of life (the first surgery at least). Maverick will likely be close to age 4 before he has his repair surgery. This delay enhances many of the difficulties listed below.

Difficulties associated with cleft are:

-Difficulties feeding (this is why Maverick was fed through a tube down his nose into his throat as a baby).

-Ear Infections and hearing loss: Ear infections are common in children with cleft, therefore causing potential hearing loss.

-Speech and language delay: Think of how many times your tongue hits the roof of your mouth when you speak. If there is no palate, that can make word formation very difficult as muscles are not being worked in the mouth the way they should. Throw in potential hearing loss and you are looking at some major speech delays. Our Maverick will be 3 next month and from what we hear, is basically non-verbal. Apparently he can say 2 words. that only his foster mom can understand.

-Dental problems: Dental work may be needed later on due to mouth abnormalities


So, how do we go about repairing his cleft palate?

Once Maverick is home and we have spent some time in the attachment phase, we will take him to see a cleft team at one of our local hospitals. There, we will discuss having cleft repair surgery, where they will sew up the cleft. From what I understand, they will cut along the sides of the tissue that is currently there and pull it together to sew it up to close the palate. In addition to the cleft surgery, he will likely get tubes put into his ears, to help the fluid drain from his ears more effectively, therefore reducing the likeliness of ear infections.

This will take some time to heal, as you can imagine having the entire roof of your mouth reconstructed is painful, and he may need additional surgeries in the future, including bone grafts and orthodontic surgeries. We will know these things with time.

 After he is healed from surgery, we will get him involved in intense speech therapy so that he can begin to communicate verbally. I see us using a lot of sign language for communication with him for a while, along with verbal communication on our part.

The great thing is that cleft repair surgeries are not super uncommon. We have connected with several families who have adopted children with clefts, and have walked the road before us. We know this will be hard on our little guy and will take patience on our part as well, but we are willing to fight through with him.


For a look at what a typical cleft palate surgery entails, you can check out this short video:

Show Hope

Yesterday, we found out some really cool news. Our little one's file does not have a ton of information in it about his past. This is not unusual. But, knowing that he will be our son, this mama wants as many connections and information as possible, so I start digging and researching. I must have googled every piece of information that I possibly know on him and have searched FB and blog posts and looked at every picture of Chinese orphans that I can find. If I will not fight for my little guy to know more about his past, who will? Well, luckily through a few different connections, I found out a little tidbit. It isn't huge, but for me, it just filled my heart with such JOY!

Do you remember how this whole adoption journey began? It all started with me reading the book, Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapman (Steven Curtis Chapman's wife). STC is a Christian musician for those of you who do not know. After I read that book, God started stirring adoption within my heart. At the back of the book was a link to an organization that the Chapman's had started called, Show Hope. It is an amazing organization, which advocates and cares for orphans and gives grants to families to help with the financial burden of adoption. Watch the video below to find out more about them.




I remember looking up Show Hope's website after I finished the book and thinking to myself "What am I doing? Why am I looking at this?" This was really my first step into what would transpire into our journey to Maverick.

I recently learned that Show Hope has a special floor at the orphanage where Maverick was brought as a baby. With over 700 children in this orphanage, the chances of him being cared for on the Show Hope floor were bleak, but I found out yesterday that he indeed was under Show Hope's care at some point when he was younger. I am not sure how long he was on that floor or when he entered under their care, but I do know that whatever time frame he was there, he was well loved and cared for and that just makes this mama so happy!

Right now, they cannot release any information to me about his time there as our adoption is not complete, but once our adoption is completed, they will send us any additional information and pictures that they have of him from his time with Show Hope. Yippie!

I was so excited about this. It was so neat to see how God used my cousin to get that book in my hand, how He led me to that website even though I had no clue why I was looking at it, how we started in Ethiopia, but ended up in China (Where Show Hope started) and how our little guy benefited from Show Hope's care. I love how God brings stories together like this.

Something else that is pretty neat, we found this information out yesterday, the same day that we got our China home study completed and in our hands. A completed home study means you can apply for grants. I always knew that the first grant that we would apply for would be from Show Hope. Last night, we sat down and started filling out our application on the website. The same website that I typed into my computer almost 3 years ago and asked God "Why am I looking at this?" Ha! God is so cool!

Now, I ask that you would pray for us. Pray that if it is God's will for us to receive a grant from Show Hope, that it will happen. Not all families who qualify will get a grant, as funds are limited. But, it would be so neat if we were granted one, no matter how big or small. We still have about $15,000 to raise in the next 9 months before we can bring Maverick home. I have no doubt that God will provide! He has always been faithful. We have HOPE!

                                        (Maverick on the Show Hope floor at the orphanage.)
                                                 

Check out Show Hope's website to find out more information:

www.shopehope.org