Stuck

If you have been following along on our journey, then you know that referrals have been slow in Ethiopia for a while. Not just slow... real slow, sometimes no movement at all. I told you all that our agency was taking a trip in September to meet with the Ethiopian government to find out what was causing this "slow down" and when things would pick back up. We were so anxious for this video, so that we could get some news. Whether encouraging or not, we just wanted to know the reality of the situation.

In October we received a video update from our agency that explained many things, including the fact that Ethiopia made it very clear that this should not be referred to as a "slow down" but a "new normal." There was a lot more to the video, but for blogging purposes, this is what it boils down to. Children are not being matched with families as quickly and smoothly as they were when we entered the Ethiopia program.

As Evan and I watched that video, we cried. We knew that this being a new normal meant a CRAZY, SUPER LONG time frame that we did not expect when we started this process. Many families have been hit hard by this news and after prayer and exploring other options, have decided to pursue adoptions domestically or from other countries. Some families have also stayed in the program, especially those that were close to the top of the wait list and expecting a referral of a child sooner rather than later. We are so far away from being matched, due to the lack of movement, so with a heavy heart, we are exploring our options.

Right now, we are in a stage of prayer and research. We are looking at our options and trying to be wise and follow God's lead on what he wants us to do. We do not want to react strictly on emotion, but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and using discernment. I am saddened, frustrated, overwhelmed and feeling stuck to be honest. I do not have answers right now, but I ask you to pray for us please. Pray for direction, pray for peace, pray for finances, pray for all of those kids in Ethiopia stuck in orphanages. Our heart is still so FOR adoption and we still long to bring a child into our family. We feel like we have given our "yes" to God and he has been faithful in this walk, this is just a big speed bump in the process. The good news, there are other options, we just have to figure out how to get to them and which one we should pursue, if we should pursue any.

I have been dragging my feet on this update or lack of an update I guess, because sometimes I don't even want to think about it. Sometimes I pretend that everything is fine and we are moving along. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say or how to say it. Sometimes, I fear everyone giving me their opinion about what they think we should do. Sometimes, I am so emotional and stressed and I just cry and shut down. And sometimes, I thank God for this waiting period we had in Ethiopia, because our hearts are at a point where they were not when we started this adoption journey. God has stretched us and opened our hearts so much more than where they were when we got on the wait list a year ago. He's drawn us closer to him, and has still been refining a lot of the ugly in me. Good gracious y'all, I am a MESS! Thank God for his grace!

While this is not an update that I am happy to report, I feel like I need to let you guys know where we stand because you, covering us in prayer, would be so appreciated. When we come to a decision, I will be sure to update again. I don't know when that will be, but until then, thank you for lifting us up to the one who has this all in HIS hands. Love you guys!